My Clear Status ~ by Scientologirl

Since my Clear cognition there has definitely been a shift in how I see the world, how I react, and how I carry myself in general. Here’s my experience, from the horse’s mouth.

 

I think I read somewhere that someone was bitching because Clears still get sick and Hubbard said we wouldn’t. Would I say I still get sick? Absolutely. This year I probably got sick once, I had upper right flank pain. I later realised the cause and it went away. Clears can still be PTS, and I believe an incident triggered this pain. What I can say though, is that I get sick a lot less, and it’s for shorter periods. 

 

I honestly do believe I don’t have my own reactive mind anymore, given how I have changed over the last few months. To all Pre-Clears, you should know that I don’t consider myself better than anyone - that’s always the first thing that happens, people recognise differences and so there’s resentment or jealousy or putting someone on a pedestal. I’m just a Scientologirl from South Africa who’s interested in self-improvement and building a community of independent Scientologists. I don’t consider myself more special, and nor should you. The only thing I consider more special is the transition between who I was and who I am now. 

 

I’m a full-disclosure kinda girl. There will always be transparency from me, because I feel like that’s what independent Scientology desperately needs and lacks - other Scientologists coming out of their own telling the world how awesome it is and just being open about their experiences. So, I’d like to do that now, for all you preClears out here in this small pool of awesome people. 

 

Let me start with my OCA. When we’re talking about no longer having your own reactive mind, I am the absolute truth to that. My old OCA literally said I was prone to bouts of explosive behaviour. I’m a bit of a perfectionist at times, so a build up of critical thoughts because I was taught to be nice or don’t say anything at all would eventually lead to mini explosions. You know, someone can just say the wrong thing on the wrong day and there I go. What’s more is that this was generally acceptable behaviour around the people I was around, it kind of had a “bragging rights” thing attached to it, where someone would (for example) refer to themselves as a can of coke and if shook too much they’d explode. 

 

We aren’t cokes though, and explosions on people is not very sane. It makes you unpredictable, seem unstable, and I wouldn’t want to be around me either back then. I’m sure many people would tell me “you shouldn’t say that about yourself because they’ll use it against you,” but if I can’t be myself and be honest with everyone, how can I expect people to believe a word I say? No. I don’t do what I do because I’m worried about my ego. I think these kinds of things need to be shared. 

 

How did my Clear cognition change this? Well, it’s kind of like realising you create the problem (being critical in the first place) and try to solve the problem (by exploding to feel better). Basically being Clear for me feels like no longer operating an ego level. I’m not sure if that’s what LRH says or if everyone is the same, but that’s what it feels like to me. So, no longer having our own reactive mind -we get reactive because of things done to us or at least it felt that way at some point, therefore, no longer having it literally feels like the ego is stripped away, it’s not just about me anymore, and I know that I can confront anything. 

 

It wasn’t just explosive towards others. There were days where “everything just felt too much” - I used to get panic attacks and nightmares, and I used to be “a crier,” I was shy, worried about what people thought of me, and there were days when I actually hated myself. All this is true. LRH had it right when he said “if you don’t know yourself, you know nothing.” 

 

I’m not embarrassed about these things - that would be reactive if I think about it. In the end I decided to make changes, I decided to not take the antidepressants, and I decided to take responsibility for my life. That’s what it all comes down to - how responsible can you be over yourself and your environment. 

 

But, alas, Clear is only a fraction of what’s in store. I could have never comprehended being stable without the use of psych drugs, or being away from restims, but here I am. Perhaps most of you aren’t coming from the dark depths that I was in, but I feel like my story can inspire others, I hope!

Lastly, from my experience, being clear doesn’t mean you don’t get reactive at all. It simply means I choose my battles, and those have nothing to do with my own considerations towards myself. The reactive mind feels very 1st dynamic, where being a Clear feels more pan-determined, more inclusive of other dynamics, working more towards the greatest good than just protection of the self. Would I still get offended or embarrassed about something? Maybe, but I would definitely say there has been a dramatic decrease in those kinds of thoughts, and more importantly, how I react to them.

 

I hope this helped “clear” things up. Let me know if you have any questions in the comments!

 


Lisa Kemsley - Admin

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Comments
Lisa Kemsley - Admin 10 w

Sure! Well, basically your auditor and CS will determine a path for you based on your OCA (personality test) if you haven't just decided to do training, in which case you'd either use an OCA to define what you need or you just decide from your own knowingness what you’d like to work on. If you’re set on going up the Bridge, the first step is to do an OCA. After that, a path will be laid out for you according to your OCA and some auditing. You’ll do a bunch of stuff like word-clearing to make sure you understand all the questions that will follow. I’m not sure if it’s like this with everyone, but there’s a question that comes up and if you get it right on the meter, it will be like a cognition (a sudden “aha!” moment) and you should be able to either recall the exact instance of your past-life Clear status (like me) or if not, go through more training and auditing until you do have the cognition. Unfortunately, I can’t say what the cognition is because it needs to be self-determined.

Tips for newbies: My “darkness” was especially centred around suppression. Aside from auditing, the ethics course we have has so much invaluable information and doing it is very cathartic because it feels like validation… If you know what gaslighting is, people that use this form of manipulation can leave you feeling crazy, arguments never truly resolve, conversations that go around in circles, things just DON’T make sense, and it’s unpredictable. Suppressive people love creating mystery, basically. Now you get on the ethics course and you read the book Science of Survival in it, and you realise many things:

1. Different tones on the tone scale have different realities
2. These tones have specific ways of handling life, themselves, and others
3. Sometimes what appears to be a “nice” person actually can be a very evil person
4. With just knowing a few of the traits, you can identify people on the Chart of Human Evaluation, and you can predict what they may do in specific situations

A lot more but those things I really felt were invaluable. You also learn about counter-intentions etc.

That’s all about others, but you also learn a lot about your own personal ethics and integrity as well. I would recommend this course to anyone who either knows or considers maybe they are being suppressed, or would like to know who to trust, or would just like to work on their own personal ethics.

Now I have a personal recommendation and sort of an epiphany of sorts: I believe a lot of people that blow (leave) the subject of Scientology do so because they don’t identify the gains as they happen. They kind of just go through it waiting for some kind of miracle that will instantly make them perfect beings. Firstly, it is a slow process. Anything good takes time. Consider your entire time-track if you believe in past lives, it could be trillions of years, and Scientology clears all that up for you in just a few years. The absolute most important thing with Scientology is that you’re always honest with yourself, and with your auditor. In the beginning, sometimes it can feel like Scientology is highlighting all one’s faults or it tries to make one wrong. I promise that is not the case. Scientology makes beings more of who they intrinsically are without the reactive mind.

I mention all this because something that does get dropped out and not spoken enough of is the OCA. If you haven’t kept track of your wins, the OCA is a sure way to measure your gains and imo it must be done regularly.

So, the steps:

1. Do an OCA test
2. Speak to your auditor and decide what’s best for you according to your OCA
3. Know that if you are under suppression, your gains will be less and you will rollercoaster (get better, get worse, get better, etc)
4. Remove the counter-intentions from your environment (suppression) if there are any
5. Do auditing and training, and measure your gains as per policy using the OCA

That’s just about it… That’s the path that I followed and a few months down the road I no longer have overwhelming anxiety and depression and general reactivity.

Good luck and please let me know if there’s anything else I can help with!

 
 
John Paul Lewis 10 w

Thanks for this. Would you mind, at some point, sharing your path to achieving this and any tips for newbies who can identify with a lot of the darkness you experience?

 
 
Lisa Kemsley - Admin 10 w

It depends really. If it's something about me personally, not so much. If it's about the suppression of Scientology, mankind, or any helpful groups, I do get annoyed, sad, or sometimes angry, but I try to figure out solutions instead of putting all my eggs in one basket and getting overwhelmed by it.